A friend mentioned this show, Monster Quest (nevermind why we were talking about it) which I’ve missed out on by not having cable. I Googled it and as soon as I saw keywords like “piranha attack”, “mega shark”, and “Ogopogo monster of Canada” (the Canadian version of the Loch Ness monster, how embarrassing) I recognized it as something I need in my life. Some episodes are on youtube, and I watched one about the “Hillbilly Beast” immediately, obviously. From the commenters:
Nah, it’s just my uncle Cletus Ray.
“long hair-like substance on it”….. sigh (It’s true, a witness in the video did say that!!!)
jesus christ dont they find anything on this show! (No, never. They really never do. Where are they getting the funding?! Sonar and night vision cameras can’t be cheap)
I think this is first recorded case where the unknown creature had more teeth than all the witnesses combined!
Just give it a Mountain Dew
Why dont they lie detect them with one of them machines? i meen i personally believe in the creature but why dont they lie detect em?
They have the most weirdly specific people interviewed as “experts”. Like a cryptozoologist, the hell is that? Wikipedia says: “refers to the search for animals which are considered to be legendary or otherwise nonexistent by the field of biology.” Oh right, naturally. An obvious career choice field to consider. It says that in addition to looking for animals that might be dinosaurs (of course, go on) they also study “animals whose existence lacks physical support (you don’t say…) but which appear in myths, legends, or are reported, such as Bigfoot and Chupacabra; and wild animals dramatically outside their normal geographic ranges, such as phantom cats or “ABCs” (an initialism commonly used by cryptozoologists that stands for Alien Big Cats).” Absolutely. Definitely. Sensible. Good projects to allocate money and resources on. Common terminology of cryptozoologists: Alien Big Cats. Why stop at ABCs? Why not UFOPs? UFO pussies? From the planet Insananumaton?
When I was looking for scholarships or grants, I was surprised at how super specific certain ones were; like “this money is only available to turnip farmers in the Mississippi Delta with a missing limb and one transgendered parent and a desire to study the future of transorbital lobotomies.” You have to be so serious about your stuff when you’re writing for those. Imagine applying to study cryptofuckingzoology, wouldn’t you feel spectacularly ridiculous? Chupacabras and snowbeasts? You must have achieved the most complete level of knowing yourself possible. I’ll give them that. I think it’s safe to assume that the rest of the world sees them as a lucky university degree away from telling folk lore and legends via song at Appalachian Highland Festivals.
A comment from a Bigfoot episode:
all of these people ARE NOT LYING. THIS IS REAL. science needs to finish catching up with the rest of the world.
Yeah, science, quit slacking! Get on the ball! Get up before noon and do something with your life! You can’t spend all day playing hackey sack in the parking lot behind Chili’s forever! Catch up with the rest of the functioning world! I swear.
And they have forensic artists!! FORENSIC ARTISTS!!! They should advertise for that career at the art schools where I work. “Would you be able to draw a man/moth/owl beast hybrid of terrifying size and proportion based on the eyewitness testimony of several West Virginians of an incident that occurred in 1966? [That was really on the show! So relevant!] Must be able to speak/interpret Appalachian!!!” Expensive private art school education fail, I’m sure.
Heart this show. Big time.
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“i meen i personally believe in the creature but why dont they lie detect em?”
A friend mentioned this show, Monster Quest (nevermind why we were talking about it) which I’ve missed out on by not having cable. I Googled it and as soon as I saw keywords like “piranha attack”, “mega shark”, and “Ogopogo monster of Canada” (the Canadian version of the Loch Ness monster, how embarrassing) I recognized it as something I need in my life. Some episodes are on youtube, and I watched one about the “Hillbilly Beast” immediately, obviously. From the commenters:
Nah, it’s just my uncle Cletus Ray.
“long hair-like substance on it”….. sigh (It’s true, a witness in the video did say that!!!)
jesus christ dont they find anything on this show! (No, never. They really never do. Where are they getting the funding?! Sonar and night vision cameras can’t be cheap)
I think this is first recorded case where the unknown creature had more teeth than all the witnesses combined!
Just give it a Mountain Dew
Why dont they lie detect them with one of them machines? i meen i personally believe in the creature but why dont they lie detect em?
They have the most weirdly specific people interviewed as “experts”. Like a cryptozoologist, the hell is that? Wikipedia says: “refers to the search for animals which are considered to be legendary or otherwise nonexistent by the field of biology.” Oh right, naturally. An obvious career choice field to consider. It says that in addition to looking for animals that might be dinosaurs (of course, go on) they also study “animals whose existence lacks physical support (you don’t say…) but which appear in myths, legends, or are reported, such as Bigfoot and Chupacabra; and wild animals dramatically outside their normal geographic ranges, such as phantom cats or “ABCs” (an initialism commonly used by cryptozoologists that stands for Alien Big Cats).” Absolutely. Definitely. Sensible. Good projects to allocate money and resources on. Common terminology of cryptozoologists: Alien Big Cats. Why stop at ABCs? Why not UFOPs? UFO pussies? From the planet Insananumaton?
When I was looking for scholarships or grants, I was surprised at how super specific certain ones were; like “this money is only available to turnip farmers in the Mississippi Delta with a missing limb and one transgendered parent and a desire to study the future of transorbital lobotomies.” You have to be so serious about your stuff when you’re writing for those. Imagine applying to study cryptofuckingzoology, wouldn’t you feel spectacularly ridiculous? Chupacabras and snowbeasts? You must have achieved the most complete level of knowing yourself possible. I’ll give them that. I think it’s safe to assume that the rest of the world sees them as a lucky university degree away from telling folk lore and legends via song at Appalachian Highland Festivals.
A comment from a Bigfoot episode:
all of these people ARE NOT LYING. THIS IS REAL. science needs to finish catching up with the rest of the world.
Yeah, science, quit slacking! Get on the ball! Get up before noon and do something with your life! You can’t spend all day playing hackey sack in the parking lot behind Chili’s forever! Catch up with the rest of the functioning world! I swear.
And they have forensic artists!! FORENSIC ARTISTS!!! They should advertise for that career at the art schools where I work. “Would you be able to draw a man/moth/owl beast hybrid of terrifying size and proportion based on the eyewitness testimony of several West Virginians of an incident that occurred in 1966? [That was really on the show! So relevant!] Must be able to speak/interpret Appalachian!!!” Expensive private art school education fail, I’m sure.
Heart this show. Big time.
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